Southern Slang is a Dying Art From
Those of you that know me well understand that I spend a good deal of time trying to return southern slang into everyday verbal and written communication. I have been known to turn a phrase when talking about a politician by saying – he’s so crooked they will have to screw him in the ground when he dies. I worry sometime that this colorful part of Americana is dying out as less practitioners pass this to the next generation each year.
One of my favorite things to do is make money trading stocks. It’s one of the only real places I have ever made a lot of money except when I was a bail bonding agent. But bail bonding is way too slimy a way to spend your time. The other day I receive an email from the company where I have my trading account. It was all about using the language of the stock market to sound like you relay know what you are talking about. The terms on their face sounded really interesting and I wonder if I could turn them into new southernisms.
The first term they mentioned was Dead Cat Bounce. In the stock market this is term for when you have lost all your money and when the stock hits its bottom price; it jumps up a little to give you false hope of recovery. This is based on the premise that if you drop a dead cat from high enough it will still bounce. How can we use this for southernisms? I’m think this could be related to crashing and specifically in an aquatic environment. Like – Did you see Randy come off that tire swing? He hit the water so hard I think he did a DCB!
New they had the term All Boats Rise with the Tide. Of course by now we have heard politicians use this to justify supply side economics. The stock market assumption is that when prices go up event the poorer performing stocks will rise a little as well. Given the floods and hurricanes that have been plaguing the south in the recent years we might have to change this one a little bit. Something like – Jeff’s bass boat has a leak so I hope all boats rise with the tide. If not we gonna have to get on the roof.
A whipsaw is an old fashion saw that two people alternate pushing and pulling. They are most often seen adoring the walls of quaint country restaurants that will soon be out of business. In the stock market this is when a stock suddenly changes direction. I have to be gender neutral on this one so I will say an example would be – when you saw Cletus wearing nothing by a pair of overalls, she did a whipsaw. However any shocking event would work.
Catch a Falling Knife
Catch a Falling Knife is the equivalent of accomplishing a spectacular feat in the stock market like time the bottom price of a stock and getting out before it is too late. To me, this term immediately screams stupid. Like – he is dumb enough to try and Catch a Falling Knife. Like whipsaw this term has a lot of upside potential.
Rubber Band in the stock market is when something is stretched out and you are expecting it to snap back to its original position. This term could be used in several situations like – when she said she was leaving it really Rubber Banded his face. Or that crash really Rubber Banded my fender but it doesn’t look like it’s going to snap back.
A Short Squeeze in the stock market is when you get caught holding a position and it goes the wrong way. Of course the possibilities for this term are pretty obvious. An example would be when the two women walked in Bubba was in a Short Squeeze.
So I urge you to add colorful southernisms to your writing and speech. Try to work in at least one a week. If you do it more often than that people will think you are a redneck simpleton. If you do it in every phrase they will revere you as a redneck Buddha. So I hoped all boats rose with the tide but the water put us in a Short Squeeze. So we climbed on to the roof. My brother was playing catch a falling knife when he took a DCB off the house. Momma did a whipsaw and her neck brace snapped around like a danged old Rubber Band.
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